Top 3 Reasons We Fall In Love
According to Hani Henry, chair and associate professor of psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology at AUC, Robert Sternberg's psychological theory covers the most common reasons why we fall in love, namely: intimacy, passion and commitment.
Intimacy
A basic friendship is a relationship that involves a person falling in love with another person for intimate reasons. It lacks commitment and passion. "Besides developing a close connection with someone, a lot of people seek intimacy for self-enhancement; it doesn't necessarily have to be for sex," said Henry. It can be self-serving. best attitude status likes to feel cared for and loved. Women want to feel their femininity, and men want to feel their masculinity."
A perfect example of intimacy captured is Adele's Hi. Adele, in the chorus of the song, calls her ex-boyfriend to vent her grief about their relationship. She explains that many years have passed and she hasn't done much healing. "Her lyrics speak for many people who are looking to make an emotional connection, whether it's with someone they know or in a relationship that lasts a few months," he explained.
Passion
The normal thing to do is fall in love due to strong feelings or desire. Passionate love is developed as a result of feelings that lead to sexual attraction, physical interest and romance. Henry explained, "When you meet someone you like you become captivated by that person." "The attraction is physical, and there is a fascination with the hair, eyes and body."
Infatuation can develop with someone you love if there is not intimacy and commitment. People feel attracted and soon develop lust. Some people see the person they love as a kind of object. He said, "You can be in love with someone for years but not feel that there is any commonality between you two."
Commitment
Total love comes from commitment. "People who seek commitment want stability and a healthy relationship," he said. "People who seek only commitment can be unable to find basic friendship and sexual attraction.
Henry stated that today's young adults are more concerned about objects than they are about relationships. He said, "The objectification of culture comes from consumerism." "The more consumerism a culture becomes the more people lose interest and commitments. Some youth are more interested in impressing people they don't care about. All things must be consumed, including relationships with people.
Love Outside the Triangular Theory
Although it's common that anyone can relate to Sternberg's love theory, we all have our personal reasons for falling in love. Your reason for falling madly in love does not necessarily have to be explained by science. Henry said that personal needs include loneliness, fear, peer pressure, satisfaction, and religious values.
No matter what psychology says about love, our choice of type of love defines who we are. Each of us has our own ways of understanding what makes our lives happy and meets our human needs. "Some people find themselves with a need for each dimension of the triangle. However, they can't give up one of their needs because of the many. Love is complicated."